It is no subject of speculation anymore. Children as young as 9 are regularly being exposed to some form of pornography. My boys are younger than this, but I am not fooled to think that they are not targeted.

A study by the Association of Child Abuse Professionals found that the effects of this exposure to pornography at this young age are ‘notable’, troubling’, and, ‘disturbing’. Not only this, it gives these children ‘sexist and unhealthy notions of sex and relationships’.

The study concluded that these effects are especially true amongst boys and young men. That was almost 15 years ago, before the rise of the technology we know today. Can you imagine the scale at which the problem has grown to by now? It is unfathomable.

Boys today are more in danger than ever before of becoming early contaminated with the plague that is pornography. Their young minds, hearts, and souls are daily being hunted down to permanently damage their view of sexual pleasure and intimate relationships.

Statistically, this contamination causes boys to have distorted perceptions about sex, poor understanding of relationships, and, I am sad to say, increases the likelihood for them to commit sexual assault, none of which any parent wants for their son/s. No one raises their children to become a victim or perpetrator of these things.

Whereas it is a known fact that pornography is affecting both boys and girls. Today, we are focussing on the boys. These 7 methods will protect your own developing men from this beastly pornography pandemic.

I want my sons to know they can ask me questions and expect me to be honest with them. If they are curious about something they have seen or heard, we can talk about it openly with no judgement.

If they find themselves suddenly caught in the net of pornography, I will not shame them but will seek to equip them so that they can set themselves free.

Focussing on relationship will also allow me to model what healthy male-female relationships should look like. A mother is the best first example of how her son will later on view and treat other women.

Unfortunately, long gone are the days of family being the primary source of socialisation; it is inevitable that children will learn new (unwanted) information from school, media, and friends.

With this notion, I aim to be their first source of information as much as possible. I will actively talk to them about everything from the images they see on billboards to the comments they hear or overhear from people, to the content they see on screens.

If I am not being proactive, I will find myself having to defend my sons all the time, like a soldier forever hiding behind his shield. Instead, proactivity allows me to be offensive, like a confident fighter running forcefully into the battlefield.

One of the small but significant lessons which my husband learned over his own journey of defeating this monster as a young man was that the first look can be accidental but the second look is by choice—and that changes everything.

In life, there are not only billboards, adverts, and screen content, but there are females wherever we go who are dressed in provocative outfits, exposing their bodies and making it more difficult for men to tame their eyes. In this highly sexualised culture, this is just how it is.

The second look can open doors that will be incredibly difficult to close. So the more I can instil this discipline in my sons, the more able they are to honour their own minds enough to look away.

Our eyes are important; what goes in during the span of one to five seconds is enough to leave ten thousand messages in your mind. You can skip an advert after 5 seconds, but it is too late to undo what was seen.

When my sons are in their adolescent years, I would like to give them freedom to create their own rules. (This has worked well with my teenage daughter — but we will talk bout daughters another time). They will need privacy, personal time, and space. I would like to respect this.

This not only builds on mutual trust between them and me but also allows for opportunity for them to build their own muscles; all children must learn to do things for themselves, otherwise they will not know how to survive in the big, wide world, once they are way from under yours wing.

Trust does not mean giving them unmonitored access to anything and everything. Rather, it means that we maintain a relationship whereby continuous conversations and frequent reviews can happen.

Wisdom comes into play here. I am the parent. Therefore, I create the boundaries within which my growing babies are free to explore. Every now and then, when I see that they are capable, I give them the choice to expand those boundaries is some little way or other.

I trust my children. However, I choose to not give my my sons their own phones until they are older (much older than aged 7, which is the age the majority of children owned a phone by, according to childhood researchers, Childwise).

Many parents feel pressured to provide a phone to their young children for different reasons, one big one being that they do not wish their children to be outcasts amongst their friends.

“What’s the point…”, you may ask, “won’t they eventually become exposed to unwanted content at whatever age they start using a phone?”. Yes, it is true, regardless of the age they start using personal devices, they will begin to come across sexual content which might quickly lead the way to pornography.

However, the point here is NOT to shield them. Contrary, it is to lengthen the time which I, the parent, give myself to instil important habits into their developing character. I want as much time to focus on developing them as great young men, before any unnecessary dilemmas come into their lives, wasting precious childhood years and stealing their innocence.

For young boys who already use personal devices, useful guidelines and parental controls are a must. We must train them to leave their phones out of their bedrooms at night, for instance, to analyse their own screen usage, and to instantly block any persons, content, or websites that they discover to expose nudity, sex talk, and other sexual content to them.

As much as I would love to be the all-knowing mother who can teach my sons everything about everything, I am happy to accept the fact that I am NOT. This is where tutors, mentors, and other role models come in — in the form of books.

Help your boys to develop a love for reading and you have given them the key to winning. I would like to provide good books to my sons which directly deal with the topics surrounding pornography, and even tell inspiring stories of those who have come free from its gruesome arms.

Yes, there are great role models we can find in the people (family and friends) around us but the truth remains that it is not always practical to have your child spend the necessary amount of time required with another person who they can learn from in a deep, effective way. And where this is at all possible, it has major limitations in comparison to good books.

Good books allow for depth in knowledge and understanding. Good books will allow for coverage of topics and ideas which will spark the mind and effect the heart. Good books are impactful and life-changing in ways immeasurable.

This is a controversial one because it is perhaps the most radical level of being proactive — even I scare myself with this one.

I once heard of a father who, having caught his son trying to smoke a cigarette, calmly made him smoke the whole packet! He felt so sick that, needless to say, he never smoked again. I personally do not advice this BUT there hides a valuable principle in this story: expose the evil to disempower it.

The evil lie about pornography is that a little bit if fine — it is normal, everyone does it, it will not harm you.The truth is that it is a dark cave full of snares and traps — once you are in, only God can help you escape.

I would like to be able to find some educational content about pornography to view with my sons. Obviously, they will be curated by myself. This will be serious analysis time of much conversation! I cannot think of anything more awkward, uncomfortable, and cringe-worthy as viewing this type of content with your parents and it should, when done right, bear lasting fruit in your son.

Serious warning: This only works when the other above methods are already in place (especially number 1) and you son is at a good age, where he is mature and sensible.

I want my sons to be able to see behind the masks of sexualised women (and men, for that matter) and empathise with where they may have come from, what might have happened in their lives, how they may have been raised, why they do what they do, and more.

I want my sons to understand that pornography is a way of trying to soothe, console, and please oneself due to an unfulfilled part of the heart and that often times those involved in creating of porn are victims of lack of true love themselves, and will need significant healing if and when they come out of it.

Perhaps it is the world’s biggest understatement to say that pornography is harmful. It is a fact that is not debatable, although some will try. Let us protect our sons from this worldwide pandemic by starting with these simple and effective methods right away.